Known Knowns

In my family, eating has always been a social, and often celebratory event. As kids, when something good happened, the ‘rents would frequently take us to Applebees. The tradition is one I’ve had a hard time shaking as I’ve gotten older. Now that I’m in school, I celebrate exemplary events by eating chicken nuggets at McDonalds, mostly because we don’t have an Applebees around us, and it’s cheaper and faster. In accordance with this unspoken rule, I celebrated the end of my third semester by buying a package of turkey bologna and some Captain Crunch Berries. These were two of my favorite snacks as a kid, and I thought I’d use them to reward myself during my two weeks off.

I went home and eagerly made myself a bologna sandwich using all my favorite ingredients: miracle whip (NOT real mayo) and the fake American cheese that comes wrapped in plastic. The only difference was that I used to wheat bread. It was like being a kid in a candy store as I took my first bite. I was reminded of all the times when I used to eat raw bologna smothered in miracle whip just to irritate my brother. I’d sit on the couch and dangle it into my mouth while he sat on, disgusted, knowing there was nothing he could do but leave the room.

The bite went in. I chewed and chewed.

And chewed.

And swallowed.

And kind of grimaced.

Where was my happy childhood memory? This was the exact same kind of bologna, down to the brand, that I’d eaten as a kid. Why did it taste so different? Why was I more disgusted at the fact that I was putting this crap into my body, rather than enjoying every delicious moment of my blessed bologna sandwich?

The truth is that I’m getting old.

I haven’t broken my hip yet, but apparently, I am wearing out of my old childhood tastes. This is actually an amazing feat that I never thought would happen. Chicken fingers have been my favorite food since I was old enough to say the words. Although I’m kind of sad that I will probably never buy bologna again, I am kind of thrilled to see this major progress in my eating habits. Another thing I noticed was that there are actually foods that are too greasy for my liking, yet another impossible feat. I had fish and chips at a restaurant the other day, and I felt a little queasy because of all the grease. Unbelievable. This coming from the girl who would fry anything; a Twinkie, a hot dog, a cesar salad. I could sit in front of a chocolate cake and have no problem ignoring it but, but put a piece of fried food down there and you’ll never know what happened.
Now it appears that I do have limits.

This is thrilling because I’ve been working on my eating habits, albeit very slowly, for a couple of years now. (At least since I got out of college in 2004.) I always thought the progress was ungodly slow and really, what was the point if my tastes were never going to change? Well, my friends, I’m living proof that it does happen. I eat salads at home now. Salmon is one of my favorite foods. We use whole grains in almost everything, and substitute fatty meat for leaner stuff like chicken and turkey. These are baby steps, but to know that I’ve actually outgrown bologna is a huge feat for me.

I think I’ll celebrate. Chicken nuggets anyone?: