Known Knowns

I’m serious about that…boys, you may want to bow out now. I’m going to be talking about periods, tampons, pads, and girly crap like that. So if you’re going to bitch and moan about it, then leave.

I was checking out one of my new favorite sites the other day (www.truegreenconfessions.com which is an offshoot of trueofficeconfessions.com, truemomconfessions.com, and truedadconfessions.com) when I read about reusable pads. My immediate thought was how disgusting that is. Filthy! Bloody pads are meant to be thrown away, not washed. “Hippie freaks!” thought I.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about all the trash that we ladies create with our monthly fun. Tons! Can you imagine all those nasty pads and tampons sitting around in a dumpster or floating in the ocean? How long do those things even take to biodegrade? I read somewhere that tampon applicators are some of the most common trash you find on a beach (although I, myself, have never run across one. ) And knowing how much my dog likes to get into the trash or lick my underwear (yes, it’s true), I can only imagine that the sea creatures must scream “Buffet!” when they see a tampon applicator.

So I tried to shove my bias about the disgusting idea of reusable pads into the back of my head while I looked into this further. Sure enough, Luna Pads are washable, equipped with a nylon layer to prevent leakage, and they even come in fun colors like leopard print. Ok, but I’m still not convinced. And besides, I don’t use pads. I gave them up because I didn’t like the sticky, grimy feeling I got after wearing one for approximately three minutes. I switched to tampons instead, and have been much happier, although not entirely. Hell, this is a period we’re talking about. Who could possibly be happy about it?

So I continued my research. Could there possibly be a reusable tampon out there, and if so, how disgusting would that be? Surely only the crunchiest of the crunchy, the likes of which don’t even shave their armpits, would use a resuable tampon. That’s when I read about the Diva Cup, and instead of paraphrasing, I’m just going to steal a few lines about it from their website:

Billions of tampons and pads are dumped into landfill and sewage systems each year in the U.S. alone. Because The DivaCup® is reusable, women save money while becoming part of the environmental solution!

Menstrual cups have been used by women worldwide since the 1930’s! The DivaCup® is:

• A modern menstrual cup
• Patent-pending, expertly engineered
• Perfect for women of all ages

It is made from soft and durable, high quality silicone which makes it latex-free and hypoallergenic. This unique material has been used in healthcare applications for over 50 years.

Well, honestly after I wrapped my brain around the fact that it’s actually not disgusting, that doesn’t sound too bad at all, now does it? Try not to jump to conclusions. It took me a good 24 hours of tossing this one around in my head to get myself to the point where I would even consider buying one. By the way, they cost about $35, which sounds pricey, but imagine never having to go out at midnight for supplies ever again? Maybe it’s worth considering…

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m not a crazy freaking hippie just because I am considering using a reusable tampon, although this does push me closer to the edge, doesn’t it? I admit that I feel very smug when I do something good for the environment. For Christmas last year, I received reusable grocery bags that are also very high fashion, and seriously, I now love to go grocery shopping. When I graduate from nursing school, I plan on buying a brand new Prius. We have managed to fill our house with those special eco-friendly light bulbs (whatever the hell they’re called) and we also recycle almost everything. Additionally, I go to school on a “paperless” system, meaning I take notes directly onto my laptop and print only when absolutely necessary. This kind of stuff makes me feel good…about myself, about the world I’m living in. Environmental issues have become very important to me in the past two years. Maybe some of that is the Boulder influence, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter, does it?

Back to the Diva Cup. I started researching it more and more. I googled things like “I hate the Diva Cup” and “Diva Cup sucks” because when I am researching a product, I like to know why people hated it. I checked out all the reviews on Amazon.com, epinions.com and anywhere else I could think of, because I rarely trust the testimonials written on the company website. I have to be honest; I have had an very hard time finding people who didn’t like it. On top of that, the majority of the reviews I’ve read have said things like “this is the best product I’ve ever bought” or “I can’t believe I waited so long” or my favorite “I hardly notice I have a period anymore.” What the? I read lots of product reviews, and of all of them, the Diva Cup is probably getting the highest scores from its users. Women apparently love this thing, and these are some of the reasons why (I guess):

• It’s eco-friendly
• It’s cost effective (since 1 cup lasts up to 10 years, and you don’t need any other supplies during that time)
• It’s hypoallergenic and made of medical-grade silicone (the kind that’s used for heart valves, not boobs)
• You don’t have to change it as often as a tampon or a pad because it holds 1 oz and most women only bleed 2-3 oz the whole time
• You can’t feel it
• You can wear it swimming, running, doing yoga, kickboxing, or pretty much anything
• It’s entirely leak proof once you get it in right; no more bloody strings to deal with
• You can’t get toxic shock syndrome from it
• It doesn’t dry you out like a tampon does, because it doesn’t suck all the moisture out of your vagina
• It doesn’t get that disgusting “period” smell, and don’t lie, you all know what I’m talking about.

My understanding is that the main con to this thing is that you have to insert it correctly which involves putting your fingers into your vagina (some women are uncomfortable with this) and that it can be slightly tricky to install properly and then it does leak. It involves some kind of suction and you have to twist it once you get it in place, I think, and this might be what causes the problem for some women.

All that being said, I’m going to buy one. I have got to see for myself how this product works, because if it’s as amazing as everyone says it is, then I sure as hell don’t want to miss out. Oh, did I mention that some women have actually written that they don’t cramp as badly as they do with pads and tampons? Not sure how that one works, but I’m willing to try anything. As of now, I’ve come full circle from finding the mere idea of this absolutely repulsive, to being excited to have my freakin’ period again so I can try it out. How sick is that? Hopefully this thing lives up to the hype. If not, guess what? There’s a one-year, money back guarantee. (I can only hope the returns go straight to a trash bin.)