Known Knowns

The winters here are harsh. I don’t mean brutally cold; I’m referring to the extreme dryness in this part of the country. No other time does it affect me as much as it does in the winter.

My nose has taken this winter quite hard. For the last three months, I have been constantly plagued by rock hard boogers in all the crevices of my nostrils. You know the kind. (Don’t lie.) They don’t come out when you blow your nose, so you’re forced to go digging for gold. If you happen to latch onto one of the nasty green boulders, you’re likely to pull out a few nose hairs in the extraction process, not to mention the likelihood of giving yourself a bloody nose. (And no idiot would ever admit to giving themselves a bloody nose with their own finger while mining for precious metal way up in their sinuses.) I hate that.

I have tried everything to get rid of said snotrods. I used to use a saline spray approximately every 3.2 minutes, to no avail. My classmates became so accustomed to the sounds of my snorts that they barely blinked by the time I tossed my stupid, worthless Ocean Spray. I tried robbing my sore nose with Blistex and occasionally, I even inserted a greased finger up my nostril to lube it up in hopes that the bacterial monsters would slip ‘n slide right now. Nope.

Then I came across this product (the sinus rinse kit at the top,) which I had previously recommended to my Mom to treat her full blown sinus infection. The hippies in this part of town also use something freaky called a Nettie Pot but I’m just not quite ready to insert that thing up my nose. A finger is one thing; a tea kettle is entirely different. You can get the same, non-hippiefied benefits by using a sinus rinse.

And let me tell you–the results have been amazing. No longer is my nose a haven for booger meteorites. Instead, when I automatically go fishing, the inside of my nose is smooth and clean. Although the sensation of squirting salt water up your nose sort of mimics what it’s like to jump in the deep end of the pool without noseplugs, I still recommend this process to anyone with chronically dry nostrils.

Sorry, now that I’ve written it, I realize this post is entirely TMI.  If I don’t write about dog poop, then I have to write about snot, instead. Well, now you all know about the health of my nostrils. Don’t you feel lucky?